


Quite the Shock

by handschuhmaus



Series: I Guess It Rhymes With Steve? [1]
Category: Phineas and Ferb: Star Wars, Star Wars - All Media Types
Genre: Crack, Episode s04e30 Night of the Living Pharmacists, Gen, Sheev, Tarkin makes a pun, Zombies, apparent spoiler for the novel Tarkin, but it's all over the fandom as far as I can see so..., lots of meanings of "shock", pile of a Sith, sort of anyway--duplicate politicians ala the pharmacists, terrible puns, this is your Halloween trick/treat
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-10-18
Updated: 2014-10-18
Packaged: 2018-02-21 15:58:04
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 684
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2474000
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/handschuhmaus/pseuds/handschuhmaus
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In which Dartheshmirtz builds an inator that turns people into unintelligent clones of the Emperor. It's like "Night of the Living Pharmacists", only on the Death Star.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Quite the Shock

**Author's Note:**

  * For [saphsaq](https://archiveofourown.org/users/saphsaq/gifts), [pileofsith](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts?recipient=pileofsith).



> We're pretending for the purposes of this story that Tarkin is privy to this revelation given it's his novel, _but_... actually I have no idea. I don't have the novel or plans in the foreseeable future to acquire it. 
> 
> Also presumed is that "Sheev" rhymes with Steve and so sounds the same as... "sheave". X)
> 
> ...I'm not sure how necessary "Night of the Living Pharmacists" actually is to understanding this fic.

Darthenshmirtz stared with some displeasure at the dozen officers he had inadvertantly turned into rather unintelligent clones of the Emperor with his most recent inator. He was sequestered from them only by dint of standing on a deck overlooking theirs, and he wasn't quite entirely certain of the method of contagion, although he did think it might be spread by touch.

With dread, he heard the doors beneath him open and the booted tread of at least two of the officers of this ludicrously oversized nutcracker walk into the room, where the Sidious clones were all leaning against each other, hopelessly entangled in some string Normpio had carelessly left on the floor, and some of them waving pieces of fruit or braids of garlic or chiles they'd filched from a couple stray crates of food Dartheshmirtz hadn't particularly wanted. All they appeared to be capable of saying was "Good, good," in a careless drone, and saying it they were. 

"Shock two," one of the officers recited, apparently paying the Sith clones no mind, "noun: a group of twelve sheaves placed upright and supporting each other to allow the grain to dry and ripen."

"Hideous, aren't they?" another commented pertinantly.

To the Sith's extreme disappointment, he recognized the next voice to belong to Grand Moff Wilhuff Tarkin, who was... not a fan. "Quite a shock, isn't it?" he remarked dryly. "Darthenshmirtz, is this your doing?" he called, and turned around to look up at Darthenshmirtz. Of course, neither of them posessed any significant Force sensitivity (and this may have been the reason for the Moff's doubt that so irritated Vader) so exactly how he'd known Darthenshmirtz's position was anyone's guess.

Seemingly deciding to ignore the possibility of a reply for the moment, Tarkin turned to his officers and said "You still have not convinced me of dictionary reading as an appropriate punishment." It was because he had turned his back on the clones that the whole conglomerate managed to shuffle over and one of them touch him on the shoulder.

The Moff had time for one comment before he began to morph, but it may or may not have been actually lucid, for he chose to say "Thirteen Sheevs n--" as the shock of changing form tore the rest of the last word from his mouth. 

"Shoot him," the non-dictionary officer directed in a panicked tone, though it begged the question of what exactly he thought that was going to do. And who he thought he was ordering around. In any case, he immediately fumbled for his weapon and shot the Moff. With a medical stun bolt. That was foolish.

This seemed to react badly with the shape-shifting contagion, for when Tarkin was once more in a coherent enough form to utter "Good, good" in a sad, puzzled voice, he had taken the shape not of the Emperor at present, but a long ago Senator of Naboo, about thirty, with a shock of orange-red hair that was beginning to grey and presently standing on end as if he had just touched a Tesla coil or something. Was that a Tesla coil that could give you a benign shock? Darthenshmirtz didn't remember.

The still-sane-and-not-Emperor-shaped occupants of the room stood in shocked silence as a small grouping of troopers stomped by on Darthenshmirtz's level outside the door, one of them singing "Socks socks socks socks socks socks socks socks socks" to the tune of the Imperial March, which might as well have been "shocks" as far as they were concerned.

"Do you know what to do about this?" the officer who had shot Tarkin asked Darthenshmirtz. He was young and blond and seemingly less bright and keen than was standard for Death Star officer corps. The dictionary reading officer, showing unprecedented initiative and sense, chose that moment to flee, as the ex-Tarkin emperor lurched towards his impulsive comrade. 

Darthenshmirtz decided it was a good time to go see what mischief Norm had gotten up to, as he had no ready solution to the plague of Imperial clones that threatened to descend upon the denizens of the superweapon.

**Author's Note:**

> Twelve Sheevs make quite a shock!
> 
> Definition of "shock2" from the Oxford Dictionary of English for the Kindle, though the officer neglected to read the "of grain" right after sheaves. 
> 
> The "oversized nutcracker" line, incidentally, is a reference to a comment in "Phineas and Ferb: Star Wars" regarding the Death Star.


End file.
